Just a bit of this and that

22 06 2015

I always preferred short hair; however, never had a boy cut as such. That day when I asked the guy in the saloon to make it a boy cut he asked me twice are you sure? This doesn’t suit you ma’m. Do you still want me to go ahead? Please do was the only answer I had.

That day was such a frustrating day, I never planned for it. I just did it. Never thought that would be a really big help for something which was extremely important! Since a month before that, I was really struggling internally on how to interact with a certain someone who I am meeting after almost ten years. My concerns that I voice out are only 10% of what I actually think. My close friends know this very well. This meeting that I was concerned had me left in endless thoughts. So much that the thoughts kept pouring even when I was asleep.

And when that day finally arrived, my appearance made them laugh so hard. I have been asked if I was wearing a wig hahhaa. I was happy! I am happy! Sometimes, when things or situations that concern us the most especially about the outcome or result are solved in the most unexpected and humorous way, I can’t help but be thankful. I mean, what more could I ask for? 🙂

Human life is such that (unless one is a saint) there is always a need. One need gets fulfilled, one doesn’t even get to enjoy the luxury of the fulfillment and the other one is already in queue grabbing your attention! It’s like “you having fun there? How about taking a look at this?” lol.

We have been to Siridi last week, which was totally unplanned. In spite of the last minute booking the trip over all was not really bad. Boy! Would I travel in a Sleeper bus ever again? I believe not! I just can’t bring myself to board that bus even in dire situations lol. Well, this bus journey also carried certain memories that might be with haunt me for very long and I am pretty sure my Mom will never forget them anytime soon, because one of those were I fell flat on my face in the bus except that there was some poor guy who was sleeping in the way (may be the alternate driver, or the cleaner I do not know) and I fell on him. Was he injured? I never bothered to ask! He was alive though. 😛 😛

Things are moving at a really slow pace at the moment in my life! Therefore, there’s nothing much to write my views / thoughts. However, I thought let me just use the space here, after all I am paying certain amount to renew this domain hahhaa. That said, it’s not like I am bored or anything but I hope and I really really do hope that things from here on take a positive path. No, not necessarily happy all the time but positive for sure! With this I will leave and return again someday. I wish all my near and dear ones also a happy and positive life 🙂

Advertisements




The Dream

3 04 2015

I was lying on the bed and lost in thoughts not thinking about anything in particular. I saw this light blue colour bird, hovering in air fluttering it’s shining wings 2-3 feet above me and looking at me straight in my eyes. It’s just the size of a fist of a month’s old baby!

I opened my arms wide as if welcoming/hugging it and it actually came down to me and sat beside my right ear. However, I did not move nor made the attempt to bring my arms down. I can feel it’s warm body and the heartbeat as well. My door was knocked and the little birdie made a move across my forehead as if it’s walking on the ground, ready to takeoff.

I caught hold of the bird very gently. It was horrified. I wanted to set it free. I didn’t want to catch it at all. I just want to kiss it and then…………… I was awake as my phone rang! It took me a while to realize it’s a dream. It took me a while to realize if it’s a Dawn or Dusk.

I still feel uneasiness. I hated myself for the couple of seconds I caught that bird. It’s like all my inner voice was shouting at me YOU BROKE THE TRUST, IT TRUSTED YOU AND CAME TO YOU! It was beautiful and it was scary. I generally never have dreams. Even if I dream it’s impossible that I remember it like a story. I don’t want this to be forgotten. I hope the uneasiness in my heart vanishes. I wish that dream was completed. I don’t know why I caught that bird, was I greedy or was I just admiring? Would I set that bird free? It was indeed uneasy catching that bird against my will. I can still remember that look of that bird!





How is life?

9 03 2015

Because of health reasons I had to quit my job and rest for a while. During this so called phase of rest I have been through numerous phases of life in a very short time! 

Since childhood I’ve never had too many friends. It was always couple of them and honestly it never lasted long just like phases of life. I am so used to this life that even if I were to be thrown in a group I could never talk to a single person, in fact I would be silently slipping out of that group without even anyone noticing. 

And I’ve noticed that it is just the opposite when it comes to online / virtual friends. I found some really precious people out here and I could treasure them for my life time!  I don’t really know why that I could trust someone whom I’m not even aware if their name is real and on the other hand I would not give at least 1% of trust with whom I meet in person unless I am really habituated. 

Should I be really worried about it? I am not sure, but so far so good that’s how life is. 

My childhood is not that great where many say that they want to go back to being a kid. Maybe because I wasn’t a bright student, maybe because I hardly know my existence or simply because I always preferred to run away from it. Very recently thanks to Facebook and Whatsapp many of my school friends got in touch. At first I couldn’t join much in the conversation, but then I tried with all my efforts being ‘normal’, somehow I found myself extremely out of the place. 

The other thing I have realized with a very tight slap on my face. Money plays a really precious and priority role for many people, and your loved ones or your family is not an exception! So when you spend for them make sure you remember for what you spent just for the heck of it! Tomorrow if you’re questioned did you even spend a rupee on us..  Mind you that hurts big time even if those words are just out of anger (even if one is angry no words come out unless they aren’t in your heart right? )  because when you spend for your dear ones you don’t really care how much you spend, you just do if it’s within your budget. Well, even if you remember it’s not like you would list out all, just saying. Lol

When I look back at my life I realize that I don’t want to live any moment twice because whatever I have lived I have lived to the fullest! Be it happiness, be it sadness, be it embarrassment or simply just another day. 

The so called circle is so funny that you find yourself placing someone at utmost importance while they hardly care about you. Similarly, there is someone out there who is giving you importance but all the same you are not ready to return that importance though you are at pain for the very same reason. 

I still have one more month to take care of certain things. And after that I believe it’s never too late to start something new! 

Not that I am sitting idle and thinking about all these..  Just a small amount of time in my everyday life these days, watching my favorite Korean dramas, playing couple of favorite games and reading my favorite books. 

Syonara until my next post. 





Random

3 05 2014

When the gentle wind blows

When the little bird chirps

When the pleasant music plays

When the soft bed looks beautiful on a tiresome day

When the evening fills with warm sunlight on a winter day

When the hot cup of liquid waits for me on a rainy evening

When the day is too much to sink in

When the feelings win over logic

When that favorite friend of mine is missing

When I go on my bike after ten long days of tiresome trip

When I cry, when laugh or when I simply stare at nothing with thoughts drifting over and over

There is always that loneliness behind my thoughts buried somewhere deep

What is my life about? Why am I like this? Am I good or bad? Do people love me or hate me? Is my life being of worth at all? If not now, please answer these questions for me.. When I am still in my senses. Please don’t get away with the word Karma. And please let me love you no matter how negative I see the world as!

 

 

 

Always in dreams

Always in fantasy

Wonder what or who I was and what or who I seek

Always in hopes

Always positive

Wonder what am I expecting and for whom

Always in despair

Always hopeless

Wonder what did I fail to receive and from whom

Always hateful

Always deceived

Wonder who I believed and what did I lose

Always angry

Always frustrated

Wonder from whom I was seeking attention and what for

Always smiling

Always laughing

Wonder who are in my thoughts and what did they do

Always thankful

Always grateful

No wonder, it’s just YOU who can walk with me and guide me.

 

 

 

Every person will cross you

Unless they are done with their journey

Every person adores you

While you are still hanging around with them

Every person is jealous of you when you let go of them holding another person

While you are gone for good

Some are happy thinking about you

And some are sad that you already left

And there are others who regret for not doing things that should have been done..

Oh dear age you are precious! For you live only for a while, but the rest of the life depends on how you have been treated 🙂





Q1 entered!

7 03 2014

Can’t believe that it’s almost an year that went by and two months successfully completed in the new year! The so called Q1 is all set to vanish which would leave me with many questions.

This year I have been to a place which I never dreamt of going. While everybody scared me that it would be too difficult to handle the climate for my parents at maa Vaishno shrine, there was on person who not only suggested me to visit but helped me make my trip as convenient as it can be.

Life hasn’t changed much except for the fact that I have put on more weight and have become more lazier lol. I will soon be writing about the trip details so that it would help all those who are first time travellers like me.





Hello… :)

16 10 2013

I guess this “starting problem” would be with me forever.  When I was in school, whenever Teacher asks me a question, I had to wait until someone gives me a hint, and then I would start off.  Would it continue until the answer is over?  Yes, unless there is a second paragraph in that answer! LOL.  I had to wait so many days to just start off some random post on my blog again. Hahhaa.. Was thinking whether or not to renew this blog or just delete it, but then I would regret if I just delete this.  So I better leave as it is.  Even if it contains extreme trash. 😉

Wah.. Looking back at July 2012, life has indeed changed a lot!! It’s been more than a year that I had so many thoughts clogged, had the urge of writing and somehow left it mid way.

Though I am not sorry for not being in touch with many of my close friends out there, I am not happy either to lose them just like that.  However, I believe this is how I am, because I don’t remember having a childhood friend or a college mate who has been with me since ages. 🙂

I have been thinking a lot and those thoughts are not limited to a specific topic.  They are endless.  Sometimes I encounter a debate without any solution.  And sometimes I end up with an amazing conclusion that makes me wonder “why didn’t I think about this before”.  Oh! There were other thoughts too specially when I think about ethics, right, wrong etc., that would scare me.  Because I reached to an extent of thinking if there is really God within us.

I got into a crazy habit of watching Asian Dramas and movies (especially Korean).   Although I am not sure until when this hobby lasts, right now I am enjoying this to the fullest.  🙂

Since I have started writing now, I would give a pause for now and see if I can continue with another post soon.  😀





Love

6 08 2012

Two Dimensions

If we can love someone so much, how will we be able to handle it the one day when we are separated? And, if being separated is a part of life (and you all know about separation well) is it possible that we can love someone and not be afraid of ever losing them? At the same time, I was also wondering. Is it possible that, we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all?

 

And sometimes I think, because we have so much love for one another (be it any relation). Even though, sometimes, it seems to be too much that we hurt ourselves.  But I believe when the time goes by we would all agree that there is no such thing as “Too much love”.  Even if it led us into making some mistakes, it’s better than never having tried to find love at all.  Isn’t that right?  Life always gives us opportunities to start over, after we learn from our mistakes.

 As long as you love, you still have hope.